Barking and Dagenham Domestic Violence Forum

Perpetrators, friends and family

Information about perpetrators of domestic violence

Perpetrators carry out a wide range of different types of abusive behaviour.

Perpetrators of domestic violence tend to be abusive in all of their partner relationships if no direct action (for example by the criminal justice system and/or a perpetrator's programme) is taken to change this type of behaviour.

The perpetrator is the person who has a problem and who needs to change. Domestic violence is not about 'couple dynamics' and victims are in no way responsible for the violence and abuse used against them.

Many women (approximately 37%) continue to experience violence and/or harassment (for example stalking, constant phone calls etc) after they have ended an abusive relationship. Half of all domestic violence murders occur at the point at which a woman tries to leave an abusive partner, or in the 2 to 3 months following the end of the relationship.

Approximately a quarter of all women will experience domestic violence at some point during their adult life. This does not mean that a quarter of all men are perpetrators; perpetrators are often serial abusers and may abuse many women (and children) during their lifetime.

Some people prefer to use the word 'survivor' to describe people going through or moving on from experiencing domestic violence as this acknowledges the survival skills required to survive domestic violence.

Others prefer the word 'victim' as this acknowledges that they are or have been victimised by a perpetrator. The word 'victim' also acknowledges that those experiencing domestic violence are (usually) victims of crime.